I love rains......

I love rains. Not because of the aroma of the decent droplets.. Not because of the pitter-patter sounds of the playful puddles. Not because of the sweet touch of the melody on the skins...

I love rains because at least the sky is there to give a company to my tears....

Rains are just like the long lost desires... the unfulfilled dreams... the unaccomplished destiny... Every droplet of rains seems closer... very closer. But every effort to touch it, possess it... goes in vain.... Just like dreams.... always in heart but deprived of being in front of the eyes.... Just like a glass window... millions of raindrops on other side seem reachable but never to come in possession.... And even if i try to trap the rains in my hands... it flows away from my hands..... just like my dreams yearning to flow away through my tears....

I love rains... Rains are contagious epidemic... I love rains and run after it. I get wet and fall ill. Just like my dreams...I chase my dreams...Some of which get fulfilled leaving me to aspire for more.... Just like the rains. To get wet, fall ill and still a desperation for more....

Rains are rains. Rains are life. Rains are necessary to breathe. Rains teach to maintain a balance in life... to enjoy every moment without getting hurt or hurting someone... Rains are worthy if watched through window and loving it. Dreams make one  alive. But unaccomplished dreams hurt just like getting wet in  rains. But unaccomplished dreams hurt just like getting wet in rains. So, before dreams become an epidemic, a hurt-free assurance for life is must. I love rains because they are just like my dreams. Drenched in tears and the pitter-patter of my efforts. And in these rains of my dreams, I have umbrella of my values and morals over my head....

Some untold facts of "For what you are..."

"For what you are..." was conceptually a tragedy with the name "Puppets of destiny". The four central characters were Snigdha, Atul, Avinash and Rishabh. I had given it my heart and soul just like I do to my every story. The time I had completed it, I sent it to my friend and asked her to give her feedback and suggestions whether to proceed with it or not. She didn't reply. Three days later, I rang her up and asked about the story. She replied - "Its the cruelest story ever I read. I can't imagine that you could be so cruel to those people who happen to be characters you created. You are as callous as their destiny. The last dialogue of Snigdha disturbed me so much that I shut myself in my room and cried a lot."

Her words disappointed me too. Later, she called me again and asked to pay heed on her words. She told me that such a story will not do good with my writing start. She said that people are already facing a lots of trouble in their personal lives. They want such a story which could make them feel relaxed.

I co-incided with her words. And once again, started working on the plot. It was very hard job to do. I wiped out every negative point from the story and inserted positivity there. I added few new characters and the central thought, which was to give the negative touch to the story, came out to be positive.


And that was how, "For what you are..." finally came into existence...

Finally.....

Finally, I created my blog. It took a long time, but I eventually created it. It happens to me almost everytime. I never get anything by the mercy or grace or gift of life. I work hard restlessly to get anything. Whether be it success, happiness or yes- this blog. Always I need to put all my breathtaking efforts. I had planned this blog months ago, but again as it always happens, it took a long time to get created. I know it sounds somewhat strange, but its not the same for me. Since, now it has become a part of my life, I do almost everything restlessly- whether be it writing or working. Sometime ago, I realized that its obvious that the blog is taking so much, since it relates to my soul. And its obvious as it could be- whatever I do for myself-to get some peace of mind- it will sure take time and all my efforts. Whatever I do for myself- never gets accomplished until I just give my last breath efforts to it. Creating a blog just needs a single click and there you are. But in my case, even the simplest things come as the most complicated ones.
How ridiculous it becomes sometimes...!

"Panaah..." is somewhat strange to be a blog title, I agree. But its the perfect name when it happens to be my blog "the voice of my soul". Panaah is a Hindi word which means shelter - a place to reside safe and secure. Here my soul seeks for Panaah which it finds ultimately in "writing". Yes, its true that I breathe because I write. Because the moments which I give for writing are the most peaceful and sound moments of my day. These are the few moments when I just forget the world out there and pen down few words as to my will. And those moments only keep me merry, content and help a lot to remain calm throughout rest of the day. So, when it is concerned to me, my restless soul gets Panaah in writing...

It all started when I realized that I think too much. The reason being most of the time I used to remain alone. But I always wondered, why I think and what I think. I used to forget what I had been thinking the previous moment. And that was what caused to make me immensely restless. I wanted to recall what I had been thinking and this trial to recall always used to end up in annoyance and disappointment. I didn't get a clue of my brainstorm. Then, an idea crept inside my mind. I started noting down all my thoughts in small pieces of paper which I could always keep with myself. And thus, my thoughts started getting connected. I started feeling little relief. That was how my first scrapbook was made when I stitched all the papers together with needle and wool. I thought that I thought good. the connected thoughts were good in syllable and that was how my writing started with "ghazals". Later I wrote stories too.
Even today, it seems like I am dreaming that I have become a published author.

Black is my favorite colour. Black resembles the realities of life which I relate to. And thus, I relate to black. Black means dare...!! Dare to accept! Dare to face! Dare to express! Dare to dare... Black doesn't reflect anything. It just absorbs. It never lets anything come out. The ultimate of all colours. Which comes in the end and lasts forever.. Once anything becomes black- it can't be changed further. And even if it is tried to do so, it ruins the whole beauty. Even the black hole happens to be the most beautiful heavenly body. Thats why they named it black hole. Black hole never lets anything out once absorbed. Not even light. Black hole resembles my expectations which have got absorbed inside- never to come out. People know me the way they want me to become.
And I like the colour black. I was looking for suitable background for my blog. And when I came across this one, I didn't think twice before applying it to my blog.
And yes, no less I love the colour crimson.

Life has always come in its jumbled way. People get their degree and then do their job. I got my degree after completing two years of my job. Generally people create an internet account- connect to people and then write books. I wrote my debut novel in May 2010 and created an internet account in Jan 2011. Its all jumbled as always. "For what you are..." is a light comedy. But it was the hardest of all stories for me to write ever... Very soon, I'll tell something about it...